Monday, August 9, 2010

Grocery Store Etiquette

As a stay at home dad, I spend more time than I care to admit at the grocery store. Some trips are long and expensive and I usually have my girls, but I also have quick trips by myself. In all these trips to the store, I have noticed that people need some help in the do's and don'ts of grocery store etiquette.

1. This is a big one. When you are checking out and the nice cashier is scanning your items and the wonderful bagger is sorting them, you need to be doing your job. Don't just stand there--pull out your checkbook and start writing the check or pull out your credit card and swipe it. Seriously, the next person in front of me at checkout who pulls out his or her debit card after all the items are bagged is going to suffer #2 on my do and don't list.

2. Back it up lady. Pushing your cart up against my butt in the checkout line is not going to get you out of the store any faster. In fact, I might just move a little slower just to piss you off.

3. Move it or lose it. Don't leave your cart and then stand three feet away and try to decide what item to pick out. Keep moving.

4. Watch out for little kids. Two year olds have a tendency to wander and they have been known to populate grocery stores. The other problem with two year olds is that their height makes them easy targets for being launched. A physics professor may describe it better, but when you bend your knee to take a step it seems to have just the right leverage to launch a two year old into a sprawling face plant onto the hard floor of the grocery store, so keep an eye out.

5. Keep your hands to yourself. There was a time in our country when it was okay to touch other people's kids. That time has passed. You better be darn sure that a kid is about to hurt herself very badly before you elect to be a good samaritan and reach out to grab her. My youngest was standing in the cart waiting for me to put her coat on, when a nice old man decided to reach out and hold her steady. In retrospect, I appreciate the gesture, but at the time, it took every ounce of will I had not to tackle him.

I have more to say about grocery stores, but I will save them for later posts. Until then, keep these tips in mind.

1 comment:

  1. LOVE IT!! Mike, I'm so impressed with your blog.